Man Utd will be a laughing stock until Ruben Amorim solves pathetic long-term problem

It’s been 1,142 days since Manchester United last beat one of their ‘Big Six’ rivals away from home. The Red Devils’ record on the road has been shocking in general across that period, but they have been particularly woeful in the games when the world is watching. Ruben Amorim must fix that problem – and fast.

Let’s be honest, it’s embarrassing. United have practically started the last few seasons with five fewer games to play than their rivals.

They haven’t once looked capable of taking three points on these occasions since Ole Gunnar Solskjaer oversaw a 3-0 win against Tottenham in October 2021.

Spurs boss Nuno Espirito Santo lost his job days later – so even that triumph wasn’t the most glorious.

Solskjaer’s sack a few weeks on from that night in north London was partly due to United shipping four goals in defeats at Leicester City and Watford on either side of it.

Four different managers have taken charge of 15 ‘Big Six’ away matches in the three-plus years since that enjoyable Spurs victory – courtesy of goals from Edinson Cavani, Cristiano Ronaldo and Marcus Rashford.

Michael Carrick has the best record of the lot, earning a creditable 1-1 draw at Chelsea in the wake of Solskjaer’s dismissal.

Ralf Rangnick didn’t follow suit. The German misfit’s three such fixtures ended in 4-1, 4-0 and 3-1 defeats at Manchester City, Liverpool and Arsenal.

Things didn’t improve under Erik ten Hag. He enjoyed a successful first season, lifting the Carabao Cup, reaching the FA Cup final and finishing third in the Premier League.

But United’s fortunes away from Old Trafford were far from a success. His first taste of the Manchester derby ended in a 6-3 mauling at the Etihad Stadium.

An unfortunate 3-2 defeat at Arsenal followed another 1-1 stalemate at Chelsea before a disaster of seismic proportions struck at Anfield.

Ten Hag never recovered from that seven-goal mortification at the hands of United’s fiercest rivals. It will surely never get worse than that.

The M16 giants somewhat avenged Liverpool’s merciless rout a year prior by earning a respectable 0-0 draw on Merseyside to help derail Jurgen Klopp’s farewell title challenge.

However, that counted for very little in the grand scheme of things. Why? You guessed it. Defeat thrice more at Arsenal, City and Chelsea.

United definitively fell to the sword against the first two clubs 3-1. But they led 3-2 in the 100th minute at Stamford Bridge before Cole Palmer’s jaw-dropping finale.

Unbelievable. That was Ten Hag’s final taste of these fixtures. It was enough to make you believe that curses are real.

Ruben Amorim continued the trend at Arsenal on Wednesday night. United battled well but ultimately lost 2-0 through Jurrien Timber and William Saliba’s goals from corners.

The Portuguese head coach’s first defeat at the helm made it 11 defeats, four draws and no wins in 15 ‘Big Six’ away games since October 21, 2021.

Were you counting? If not, United have scored just 16 goals (1.1 per game), conceded 45 (3 per game) and only kept one clean sheet in that period.

Amorim doesn’t have to wait long to redirect the trajectory. Within the next 40 days, his side faces trips to Manchester City, Tottenham, Liverpool and an FA Cup rematch at Arsenal.

Suppose he doesn’t find a way to stop the rot in United’s grudge matches going forward.

In that case, unfairly or not, there will be an external whirlwind of negativity already rumbling his Lowry Hotel apartment by mid-January.